it's been almost 5 mths since it happened..
it was so sudden, so depressing...
thinking back, i really regret my actions, my thoughts
& thinking that such a thing would never happened..
& so it did..

was this my so called suffering?
it really made a deep impact on me..
suddenly, everyone's so concerned about it. but as time goes by, the people ard you get lesser and lesser..
does time really heal.. I guess so...
though i still occasionally think about her, i don't cry anymore.
I do miss her..
& i certainly still do miss him..
what was i supposed to do?
I can't even save him.. I can't even do anything for him,
I can't even repay him for what he had given me.. for the past 17 years...

A levels is here.. & what am i doing?
I still can slack, use comp, watch show..
I think he would be very disappointed in me
I know he has high hopes for me..
but i still continue to disappoint him...
& her as well..
SERIOUSLY what am i doing?